Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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