i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
