Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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