I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
