he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have fence marks all over my body
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
