I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
