Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
