God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
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