No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
