Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
