she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
