i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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