this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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