Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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