how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
