Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
