Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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