like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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