I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It's blow job season.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
