All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
