dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
