I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
