There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
