That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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