Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
