I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
