Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
