Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize