He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
These tits shall not be calmed
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
