i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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