At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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