I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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