only you would photoshop your dick
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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