It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
