Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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