Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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