she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
