I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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