im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
