You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize