It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
