dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
