While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
