i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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