Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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