I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
