He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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