Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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