last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
