I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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