I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
