I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
