She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
