I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
