Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
