"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
