u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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