i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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