I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
