just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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