plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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