Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
