You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
