Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
