i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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