Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
