This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
