How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
