the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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