it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize