3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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