the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
