She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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